


Marking Time

by Kirbyfest



Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:58:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1602728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirbyfest/pseuds/Kirbyfest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Spoilers through episode four of season three.</p>
<p>Many thanks to Karen for beta.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Marking Time

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through episode four of season three.
> 
> Many thanks to Karen for beta.

Goren watched Eames throughout her first trimester, more closely than usual, more closely than she would ever suspect. Had she not been working so hard to keep a balance between the nausea and the job, she might have noticed that things were easier-- the water on her desk was eternally fresh and cool, she never seemed to run out of saltines, there was always a chair free when one was needed.

Fussing over her, even imperceptibly, made it easier. Made everything easier. It gave him something to think about, something to occupy his mind while he waited.

Eames had told him about the surrogacy a few months before it became reality. "It's something I can do for my sister," she'd said, her voice even as she sat on the edge of his bed, buttoning her shirt. She hadn't come right out and said she wouldn't be back for a while. She didn't need to; she'd just reached back and touched his hand, then disappeared into the early morning light as she always did.

That morning started Goren's silent watch.

He knew she was pregnant before she did, before the tests confirmed it. He figured out her due date based on her most recent doctor's appointment, and made tiny precise marks in his calendar that only he would understand. Those marks formed the shape of his life for the next year.

He smiled and congratulated his partner when she told him, made small talk about how happy her sister must be, then glanced down at his calendar again, at the careful pencil marks.

The nausea stopped at the end of her first trimester, as if a switch had been flipped, and Goren was relieved to see the color back in her cheeks. He was relieved to see her energy and interest and humor restored. He said nothing, she said nothing, but he hoped. It was all he could do.

Alex finally came back in the middle of the night, without a phone call or warning. He woke and saw her across the bedroom, slipping out of her clothes, folding them neatly over the arm of the chair. She was a pastel silhouette in the faint light filtering through the window, and he stayed still, watching through half-open eyes as she pulled one of his t-shirts on over her head. They were piled on the chair, as always, and would be until his cleaning lady cleared them away in a couple of days.

Her footsteps were quiet, careful, and she slid into bed next to him, warm and smelling like rain. Her breathing changed cadence in less than a minute, and she was asleep.

She was so little, still, swimming in the t-shirt that would eventually be too small for her stomach. That was hard for him to consider; he knew too much, too much about everything that could go wrong. Toxemia. Placenta previa. Placenta abruptio. Preeclampsia. His mind could click through the list, never forgetting a single possibility or symptom, complete with illustrations in brilliant color.

It could go on all night if he let it, but this night he didn't. This night he wrapped himself around Alex, breathing her in, and let go of the lists and the possibilities.

When he woke, several hours later, Alex was already awake. She was on her back, face calm as she stared up at the ceiling. He wondered, again, what it was like inside her mind; he imagined it was orderly, peaceful. He hoped it was.

"Hey."

"Morning." Alex turned her head toward him, stifling a yawn. "I didn't wake you last night when I came in, did I?"

"No."

Her mouth quirked in a smile, and he knew he hadn't fooled her for a moment. He never did. "I just sacked out. Sorry to be so rude."

"You were tired."

"You have no idea." Her hands were still a little clumsy with sleep as she pushed hair back from her face, rubbing her eyes. "I could sleep all day, every day."

She'd missed one stray lock of hair, and he reached over and smoothed it back. "It's hard work being pregnant."

"I told my sister she had better buy me a damn good Christmas present." Alex rolled on her side, scooting closer to him. "You know I'll go on light duty as soon as it affects the job, right?"

Did she really think he was worried? "I know. You'll find a way to work the pregnant angle, though. It could come in handy."

Alex grinned. "I wish. It's mostly just a pain in the ass. Except..."

"Except?"

"You know what they say about pregnant women in their second trimester."

"What do they say?"

She reached out and plucked at his t-shirt. "I know you've read all the books, Bobby. Cover to cover. You don't need me to tell you."

Her hands were small and determined, cool on his skin, and her touch turned him inside out.

Goren hadn't been entirely sure how he'd feel if she did come back, and now he knew. She was back where she belonged. With him, even if those words were never spoken and she left before the sun was fully risen.

She'd go again, when the pregnancy was further along. Goren knew this, and he knew when that happened he'd have his invisible caretaking. He'd have their work, and then his work. And he'd have the tiny marks on his calendar, each careful line a milestone.


End file.
